Hey everyone! Welcome back to the wonderful world of Pro
Basketball. Well, I suppose it’s not all that wonderful at the moment. What
with all the anti-flopping, anti-Stern talk and the “only 3 teams can win the
championship” chatter. I’m not going to sit here and write about how there’s a
bunch of teams that have a chance….because there’s really not. I’m also not
going to sit here and decide which of the three has the best chance at the
title and predict in which of the other 27 non-contender treads water the
longest. No, instead I’ll give my ten random predictions of what WILL happen
this NBA season.
1. The
Nets will not be as good as advertised: With all this off-season hoopla, it’s
easy to forget the Nets won 22 games
last year. They didn’t add LeBron or Durant. They added Joe Johnson, the
league’s highest paid player who was unable to get the Hawks out of the second
round the past five years. They also re-signed a few members of one of the
league’s worst squads last year. I know Deron Williams is supposed to be the
second coming of Santa and all but we have to remember he was the point guard
ALL of last season. Johnson is a solid addition at best, Brooks Lopez and his
four rebounds per game return, they’ll see a lot more of Gerald Wallace and the
bench is improved. They’ll be improved and will likely make the playoffs. But
this will be due to the weakness of the Eastern Conference.
2. The
Knicks and the Timberwolves will have the most ridiculous playoff rosters in
NBA History: Yes, this means I’m picking them both to go to the playoffs. The
Knicks always have a pretty fun roster but this year is just delightful. Let’s
go over it again. They have the league’s most mercurial superstar, the East’s
best defensive center who is somehow hitting his peak in his early 30’s, a
former superstar with the league’s worst contract, Rasheed Wallace AND THREE
GUYS OLDER THAN RASHEED WALLACE. It’s not enough that they signed Jason Kidd,
Kurt Thomas AND Marcus Camby in the offseason; they also signed Pablo Prigioni,
the oldest rookie in 40 years. These guys will make the playoffs. Now
Minnesota, on the other hand, has the market cornered on white guys. From a
completely non-racist standpoint; this is incredible. Not only do they have a
lot of them, they have the best of all of them. They have the best white player
(Love), the white point guard of the future (Rubio), the white guy with the
best nickname (Kirilenko), the white guy with the worst hair (Amundson) and
Greg Freakin Stiemsma! Every game will look like a Tuesday night at the YMCA.
God I can’t wait.
3. Things
will eventually work out for the best in LA…and Kobe gon shoot!: We see this
every year in every non-NFL sport, good teams start slow for a multitude of
reasons. Franchises like the Lakers and Yankees start poorly nearly every year,
causing panic in the media. Yet every year they’re championship contenders.
It’s also never easy to start a season with multiple new pieces. The Heat
started slow in their first season and I’m not sure if you’ve noticed but
they’re fine now. The Lakers will be championship contenders this year, Dwight
will be fine and all will be well in Los Angeles. Also, Kobe will shoot… a
lot…no matter what. It’s the surest thing in sports.
4. Harden
Deal will be bad for everyone: Harden is one of the 25 best players in the
world and was incredibly valuable as Thunder’s sixth man last year. Word on the
street is Harden isn’t exactly a fan of the spotlight. Last year’s finals
showcased that. It’s hard to envision the Thunder being fine without Harden,
especially in the short term. But will Harden be okay without the Thunder? If
he had stayed in OKC he would have had a chance to be a part of the team of the
next decade. If this whole “I don’t want to be the man” thing is real or
doesn’t change, he’s not about to achieve anything close to that on the
Rockets. I don’t want this to sound like I’m blaming Harden. It’s not like he
was holding out or demanding to be traded. Yet, this doesn’t change the fact
that neither he nor the Thunder will have as good of a 2012 if they stayed
together. But, as One Republic would say, “it’s too late to apologize.”
5. Golden
State will look for new ways to torture their fans: Hey did you see Golden
State’s starting five? Sneaky good eh? Good enough to get the downtrodden fans
of the Bay area just a little bit too excited. Don’t buy it Golden State fans.
As a Bills fan, I made the mistake of believing they could compete this year.
Don’t repeat my mistake Warriors fans! Some teams just won’t ever win.
6. The
Bulls will have ’97 Spurs potential…but will be too well coached to use it: In
the early to mid-90’s the Spurs were one of the best teams in the NBA every
year but they just weren’t good enough to get over the hump (Houston). Then, in
1997, star center David Robinson was lost for the season. The team then
uh…didn’t try so hard for the rest of the season and earned the first overall
pick. All they got out of it was the greatest power forward of all time and the
rest is history. The Bulls have had similar success in the past few regular
seasons but appear to be fatally flawed. Rose’s injury is a chance to grab a
top-ten pick and correct that flaw. Alas, Tom Thibodeau is one of the league’s
best coach and simply won’t allow them to win less than 45 games.
7. Someone
named Kevin will win MVP: Don’t get me wrong here; Lebron will be the best
player in the league (see next paragraph). But, as was shown in 2011 and so
many other years, the writers get sick of voting for the same guy. Unless
Lebron has some kind of transcendently incredible season (which he may), he may
not walk away with the hardware he deserves. It happened to Michael Jordan, it
happened to Larry Bird and it’s already happened to Lebron. Seems like Durant
should be the default choice but keep an eye on Mr. Love once he returns.
8. But
Lebron will be the best player in the league: Lebron might be the most
incredible thing to watch in sports. That conference final last year is
starting to feel like a crazy fever dream. He redefined doing it all. Bron-Bron
scored, rebounded, dished out crazy amounts of assists and the his defense…He
successfully guarded Rondo AND Garnett… sweet lord.
9. The
Spurs will win 55 games: Forever and ever until the end of time. Duncan, Pops
and whatever they take off the scrap heap will win 55 games in 2017. And
they’ll still have the same damn hair.
10. Memphis
will do Memphis things: The Grizz might not have the most exciting or notable
regular season. They might only be the fifth or so seed in the west. But come
playoff time, Z-Bo and the boys will make some noise, in some way.
Oh and one final prediction: Miami over OKC in a repeat
of last year.
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