NBA Finals Running Diary: HOLY EFFFFFF

Image Courtesy of www.USAToday.com

Just as we did last year during Game Five of the NBA Finals between Oklahoma City and Miami, Mike and I will be writing a running diary of tonight’s Game Six between Miami and San Antonio. Yes, this idea was shamelessly stolen by ESPN’s Bill Simmons. So, what?

8:55: I kind of follow the NBA’s logic of starting games at 9 p.m. Eastern time. No child should be subject to  witness the heinous crimes Danny Green is about to commit against Miami’s defense.

9:02: If you don’t get chills watching those pre-game clips of significant moments from Finals history, you probably don’t have feelings or like basketball.

9:04: Miami’s PA guy just called James Jones “a Heat player.” What an embarrassing mistake by him!

9:05: National Anthems before major pro sporting events make me wonder how there are so many prominent singers with terrible voices when there are so many children who can sing beautifully.

9:08: Sweet baby Jesus, Jesse Williams is the most annoying person on this planet. Who’s excited to see him at halftime? Who the hell is he?

9:11 Opening tip won by the Heat. Bosh hits a 20-footer. Game over.

9:12 LeBron just made an absolutely beautiful pass to…oh God, is this a Mike Miller game?!

9:16: So, this isn’t a Dwyane Wade game, eh? And now it looks like he’s hurt. That’s not even the issue. How about not taking terribly ill-advised shots?

9;23: Crazy back and forth action so far. And Kawhi Leonard just smashed Mike Miller into 1000 puzzle pieces. Luckily, the Heat have Juwan Howard to put him back together. Juwan Howard loves puzzles. (Get it? Cuz he’s old!)

9:25: All kidding aside, I hope Juwan Howard gets in this game. Rashard Lewis and Tracy McGrady as well.

9:27: LeBron just attacked the rim for the first time. He NEEDS to be more of a factor than Wade. He just has to be.

9:29: Not surprising or anything but Duncan has been quietly great in the first quarter. 10 points already. He’s so quiet like a mouse that works in a library.

9:30: I just saw Boris Diaw attempt a three. Ok, then.

9:35: Danny Green just took his first shot. And missed. I guess a spot-up shooter shouldn’t win finals MVP after all.

9:38 End of the first quarter, Heat lead by two. Mario Chalmers has been lights out shooing, Dwayne Wade looks awful and LeBron has been more of a distributor than anything. Duncan and Leonard have been awesome; they have 20 of San Antonio’s 25 points. Everyone else has been pretty underwhelming.

9:41: I just saw a tweet that said LeBron has scored or assisted on 24 of 27 Miami points. Ok, I didn’t give him enough credit. And Pop hasn’t been too creative with his boring interview responses lately.

9:43: Hey, Danny Green’s alive and hitting a three, hilariously extending his Finals record.

9:47: And all of a sudden Wade is awesome again. Like Simmons said in his column today, you never know what to expect from him anymore. Miami’s up by six, they look ready to start pulling away…just waiting on a “wow” play by LeBron.

9:50: The worst aspect of these Finals has been watching the commercials for “Back in the Game” on ABC. Walter Mathieu is doing cartwheels in his grave.

9:52: Miami takes a seven-point lead and, just when they seem ready to pull away, they settle for bad shots and let Duncan get the Spurs back into it. By the way, the Big Fundamental is 8-8 with 16 points and four rebounds. Classic close-out performance by him.

9:59 Duncan just missed for the first time on his NINTH shot but the Spurs get the rebound, shoot again, miss again and Duncan gets the o-board and the put-back. He’s 37, right?

10:03: And Duncan is at 21 still in the first half. He’s totally outplaying LeBron this quarter. No question.

10:05: LeBron looks awful and lost on offense. I can’t see the Heat winning if he keeps looking like this. Also, zero assists the first 10 minutes of this quarter and is barely a factor rebounding. Something needs to change with him in the second half. Attack and get fouls or pull up but there’s no excuse for not being able to score 30 when your team needs it.

10:10: The Dos Minutos announcement just happened for the first half while Duncan was dunking home his 25^th point to give the Spurs the lead.

10:11: Bosh missed two easy shots and Boris Diaw burned LeBron. The expected and the oh-so-unexpected.

10:12: San Antonio just finished the half on a 17-4 run to take a 50-44 lead. It’s over, stick a fork in ‘em. Miami’s rolling over and settling for jumpers. It’s time to focus on San Antonio and their accomplishments, they deserve it.

10:15: Sportswriters haven’t totally given the whole “Duncan is lights out in closeout games” thing enough attention. He’s one of the great closers of all time and he’s reminding all of us that right now.

10:17: Time for the ESPN Countdown show; a truly underrated experience.

10:18: Holy crap, Magic Johnson just made a good point. WHAT IS THIS SORCERY?

10:24: I literally have no idea what Miami can do to stop San Antonio’s offense. If Duncan’s that on in the second half, forget it. They have to double him and pay less attention to the Gary Neal/Danny Green/Manu types. Their only hope is to score like crazy or for San Antonio to stop shooting incredibly.

10:31: LeBron finally attacks the rim and gets fouled again…and he only hits one free throw…again.

10:37: Danny Green’s attempted floater was the perfect microcosm of why he’s not Finals MVP.

10:41: Mike Miller just drove to the basket to cut the Spurs lead to one…sure is one crazy fever dream we’re all having.

10:46: Tony Parker just made a shot with three guys on him while falling and being fouled. And LeBron has missed some easy lay-ups.

10:51: ABC is currently showing a graphic that shows LeBron is 3-10 so far. Not acceptable.

10:53: Mike Breen says Ray Allen looks shaken up. I think he might just be tired from ring-chasing. Same with T-Mac. That’s why he hasn’t been able to play all series.

10:55: Spurs are now on an 11-0 run. Duncan has 30. LeBron has 12.

10:58: It looks like the best Finals match up in years is going to come and go without a really good game.

11:01: Just as Miami appeared to be going on a run, Parker answered. San Antonio always answers.

11:02: For the record, Ray Allen has had the worst game a future Hall of Famer has ever had in the Finals.

11:05: Third quarter just ended, Spurs are up 75-65.

11:09: Chalmers just hit his fourth three-pointer of the night…just as I said last year, no one will remember how important he was.

11:10: Mike Miller just hit a three with only one shoe on to cut the Spurs lead to four. Yup. Because, Mike Miller. That’s why.

11:14: Tiago Splitter has hit two shots this quarter already. I know the Spurs are a pro basketball team and not a Catholic high school but they can start a “God’s on our side” chant whenever they want.

11:18: LeBron has three very impressive scores at the rim this quarter but as soon as he doesn’t get a call on his fourth drive, he yells at the ref instead of running back on D. Does someone want to let him know this is an elimination game.

11:19: Mike Miller just blocked Tim Duncan. Take a deep breath. Re-read that. Now I’m not sure whose side God is on.

11:22: LeBron just blocked Duncan and then went down and tied it up with a lay-up. I’m shutting up. He’s taking the game back. And now Ray Allen hits a shot to give Miami the lead. I’m really, really shutting up now.

11:25: LeBron’s on triple-double alert now: 24-9-7 with about five minutes to go. Wow. Well that escalated quickly.

11:29: I can’t believe what LeBron is doing this quarter. I’m in awe. No other way to describe it. And I was burying him 20 minutes ago.

11:33: Miami’s D has totally shut down San Antonio. 87-84 Miami with less than three to go. I’m ready for anything.

11:35: I was just about to talk about Ginobli being invisible (-20, 4 points) and then he hits a runner to cut the Miami lead to one.

11:37: Less than two minutes left…San Antonio ball…down by three. Whatever happens these next two minutes, I’ll never forget it. This is why I watch sports.

11:39: I knew Tony Parker would hit that three and he did. He’s just so clutch. And now he gives them the lead with less than a minute left. My God.

11:43: LeBron just ruined everything he’s done all season. Stupid turnover under the rim and an air-ball…what the hell was that?

11:45 I can’t say LeBron screwing up two shots and Ginobli shooting free throws was an ideal ending to the Finals.

11:46: LeBron hits a three-pointer…I don’t know what to think of his performance. 20 seconds left, Spurs ball.

11:49: Kawhi Leonard missing free throw….now way

11:50: NO EFFING WAY

11:51: Ray Allen just…instant classic.

11:52: HERE WE GO

11:53: I can’t believe Parker didn’t make it…we’re headed to overtime.

11:56: Spurs strike first in OT…they were deadly in OT against Memphis.

11:58: I’m pretty sure Ray Allen just committed his 11^th foul of the game…how has he not fouled out yet? And Tony Parker just missed a free throw…you don’t win if you don’t make free throws.

12:01: Miami just forced a 24-second violation. People won’t remember how important their D was to this game. Totally rebounded after a terrible game and a half. The Heat now have the ball and the lead with just over a minute left.

12:06: HUGE turnover by Manu (no surprise)…AND THEN NO EFFING WAY DID LEBRON JUST DO THAT! WHO ARE YOU, LEBRON?

12:08: Once, again: this is why I watch sports. Spurs ball and…(waiting during timeout)…BOSH WITH A BLOCK. And LeBron James with a rebound…triple double.

12:10: GINOBLI…lost the ball again! Ray Allen to shoot free-throws…I’m shaking and I don’t have feelings toward either team.

12:11: Spurs get the ball back with 1.9 ticks left…they’re down three. I think they really might have to get the ball to Neal or Green right now. Duncan isn’t a great three shooter, neither is Parker, Ginobli is a mess…Splitter is Splitter.

12:12: And a block by Bosh ends the best NBA Finals Game in years. Drive home safe, folks…here’s a couple thoughts on tonight’s action:

1.       Danny Green just pulled an all-time no-show. That shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone who’s watched more than 10 basketball games. He’s in a good situation and can shoot threes like no one’s business.

2.      LeBron is clutch...no he’s not!...Yes he is! LeBron If Duncan’s the Big Fundamental, LeBron is the Big Enigma.

3.      Hey, I found the perfect walkout song for Ray Allen And Dwyane Wade!

4.      That performance by Duncan was incredible. 30 points and 17 rebounds. And I don’t know if he can do it again in two nights. That was truly remarkable.

5.      Ginobli was God awful. Just incredible, he can take the blame as much as anyone.

6.      As I type this, the countdown crew is talking about how many mistakes Popovich made tonight. I can’t believe this is happening even while it’s going on.

7.      LeBron’s fourth quarter was the best I’ve ever seen an athlete do anything ever. The Big Enigma strikes again.

8.     This hasn’t been a great series, but this is the best basketball game I’ve ever watched. I’m still in awe. The Spurs had the game wrapped-up…and it slipped away. But now they get their first Finals game seven. They finally have a worthy opponent. They finally have a Finals people give a crap about. Game Seven will be EPIC.

9.      There has been a ton of talk about legacies surrounding this series. And for once, this storyline is justified. We have two of the best players of all time facing off, at least six, maybe seven Hall of Famers (Allen,  James, Duncan, Parker, Wade, Ginobli and maybe Bosh), a few memorable, important players from this generation (Battier, T-Mac), a budding star in Kawhi Leonard, Chris Anderson, Mike Miller and Norris Cole’s collective hair and the league’s two best coaches. Oh and Pat freaking Riley is involved. You’d be hard pressed to find a Game Seven that features more historically important basketball people in NBA history.

12:45: Gregg Popovich is coming to the podium…goodnight and stay hungry, my friends.